It's a emo anniversary.

Two years ago today the symptoms of Transverse Myelitis began. Even though I know it's for his glory the question "why?" still looms. As I think about where I was and what could have been I am very grateful for the everyday little things that I can do on my own (but with His help). I'm trusting and believing for the fullness as there is still a ways to go. So close, yet so far.

With the MRI complete they were able to see that the majority of the myelin all along my spine had been degenerated. I found this really good picture >

The image on the right is of someones healthy nerves (the white part) and their Myelin (the black part). The smaller pictures on the left show what pretty much happened to my myelin and nerves after they were degenerated. 

With the Cat Scan done they were able to eliminate M.S. because I didn't have any masses on my brain. However with the amount of Myelin that was degenerated nearly my whole spine length they thought it could be something more serious. They attempted to get me prepped for a spinal tap. They gave me Ativan it is used to relieve anxiety. Ativan also known as Lorazepam is in a class of medications called benzodiazepines. It works by slowing activity in the brain to allow for relaxation. It worked just not enough to calm my nerves and because of how sensitive my skin was to the slightest of touch my neurologist was gracious and postponed it. I mean I was kind of freaking out because of how sensitive my back was. I was so so so relieved it never got done.

After a day or two of being on the steroids I was able to sit up and use a walker to get to the bathroom without anyone helping me there. As were on the subject I remember them saying if I wasn't able to empty my bladder that I would have to be put on a catheter. The average amount the human bladder will hold is 300-400 ml and you will usually feel the urge to urinate at 150ml. Well my bladder was maxed out at 638ml.. They say that it can hold upto 800 ml but obviously that wouldn't be healthy. So anyways after being able to get to the bathroom with a walker I thought I'd be able to take a shower...without any assistance. I mean being modest and independent as I am. To say the least I fell and was told later that I wouldn't be able to do that again because I would be a liability. So they gave me a shower chair from there on out. TMI.....?.......I think so. Sorry. :)

Like I said they thought I had something more serious it was called N.M.O. Neuro Myelitis Optica which causes you to be blind and paralyzed.  Here goes another round of tests! EEK! So I got on the phone and computer once again asking for prayer. Here goes the late nights talking to friends and family. I'm talking bout being up till 3 a.m. and every 2 hrs when the nurse came in to check my vitals. I had to stay on top of things always telling them how I felt and asking a billion questions. I also had to ask for Ativan so that I could sleep. On the day of the tests it took 3 different nurses and all the spots you can draw before they got some blood. They sent in a Serologic Test for NMO-IgG to Mayo Clinic to see if it was positive or not. Oh Lord Intervene! "Because NMO-specific lesions may not be evident on MRI, a blood test result that is positive for NMO-IgG enhances diagnostic accuracy. Mayo Clinic, where the test was developed, is currently the only laboratory in the United States that offers it." http://www.mayoclinic.org/medicalprofs/neuromyelitis-optica.html Pretty crazy that where I had my NMO-IgG test sent  was where the test was developed and the only place that offers it. I know that steroids played a big part in helping me get back on my feet. God is Merciful and just. I had friends, family and their prayer chains in over 10 states standing with me in prayer. I'm thankful for each and everyone of you continuing to pray for complete restoration. Very Gracious!

Accelerated cure project?????????

Last night I was doing some research on top 15 natural cures for back pain.
http://altmedicine.about.com/od/chronicpain/a/back_pain.htm I was also trying to find the best pain meds for back pain. http://www.vaughns-1-pagers.com/medicine/painkiller-comparison.htm and this is what I found. I thought it was very helpful! But it also made me want to find something that would be less harmful on my body. So, today I went to the Health food store! I got some white willow bark a.k.a. salix alba which is what Aspirin is made of. I also got a Vitamin B Complex that has choline and inositol. Which I read while there that it protects myelin and helps with regenerating nerves. I took one and have had some sharp pains in parts of my back that don't usually feel that kind of pain. Wondering if anyone knows what nerve regeneration feels like? Idk that it would be working that fast just curious. I also read last night that Devil's claw is helpful with inflammation (which is part of lupus) and that thymus is good for RA, SLE, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, building your immune system the list goes on. I didn't get those last two things so I can't tell you if they work. Maybe you'll have to try them and let me know if they work for you. I've been doing some more looking around because of all the pain - symptoms I'm having. Almost two yrs ago some family members informed me of Johns Hopkins Research on Transverse Myelitis, MS and other demyelinating conditions. Today I decided to go on their website and see how their research is going and to see if I could get some more information on how to improve my health. I think I'm going to move forward with this http://www.acceleratedcure.org/repository/index.php Lord willing. If the doors open up then I will walk through them. Please pray that the Lord would direct my steps and give me the discernment that I need in this decision.

Only for the weak, for the faint of heart, those driven to their knees, those who live with scars.

all my med info

Oh well what do you know as soon as I sit here to type my back pain starts to flare up. I was never a big fan of drugs, but I've come to realize there is a time and a place for them. Through sickness and pain I became very thankful that they exist!

Hospital Day #1 April 10th 2010
So, that night they hooked me up to their machine for an I.V., to run vitals, and get their fair share of my blood. You would think for the week, but they didn't agree. And I had no choice. I know that week I broke my record on how many vials I've had taken at a time.

Hospital Day #2 April 11th 2010.
So they still needed to run some more tests to eliminate MS completely.  Which were an MRI, blood work, and a Spinal tap!!! I believe it was this morning that they had me do the MRI. Again like the cat scan they had to do it first without the contrast dye and then with it. The main reason they believed it to be MS was because Transverse Myelitis only affects six inches of your spine, and my whole spine was inflamed top to bottom. I have a challenging time
remembering everything that happened because of all the trauma I experienced (emotionally, physically, and mentally), and the drugs. I do believe though that it was on this day that they started running the junk through me; 1,000mg of steroids everyday I was in the Hospital.  As I've mentioned my feet were freezing and from my waist up I was burning up. So, I had a heating pad on my feet with my special socks and all covered up to my waist at least, where I start burning up. I had ice packs on my back, my neck, and a fan blowing right at my face. My mom say's I looked like a tomato and it tis true.

"Fall Risk…"!!!!
Those are the words written on a bracelet I had to wear for nearly a week. I had matching socks to boot. Bright yellow socks and a bright yellow wrist band.


'"only for the weak" - Avalon
http://youtu.be/XJJqu1LPoRA