As far back as I can remember I would sing when I was happy, and when I was sad. My mom would say "that from the time I could talk, I was singing." As I got older I remember being in my room with my super sweet stereo cranked and the bass on high....cultivating a place of worship using a microphone that I got from radio shack. Nature called my name, and any place that created a ambience or likeness to a ampatheater. I liked standing on rocks, stumps, really anything over 2-3 feet. In nature it was me in the audiance of One; my creator and the birds, crickets and trees backing me up!
When it was time for me to go off to college. I knew it had to be something music related. I always had the latest on new bands and who's who's in the Christian music business......can someone say obsessed. Yeah maybe I was, I could name any band and song name as it came on the radio. I'm sure it got a little sickning as my collection of band memorabillia filled our home. I can't even imagine how much I've spent on cd's, posters, and the like...... and how much of my life I've waisted standing in lines to meet bands. Not even gonna lie those were some of the best times of my life. I also remember making different crafts and candies and trying to sell them to the neighbor kids. I was very entrepreneurial. So, I decieded that combining my love of music, bands and selling things seemed like a good idea. So, off I went to get my degree in Music Business.
I graduated Magna Cum Laude a year and a half later. A lot of people tell me that what I learned during that time was for some good reason (what the enemy planned for evil, God will use for good!) I'm still learning to not be offended and forgive teachers who came to class and neglected to teach us. They really should be reported. Not, that I didn't learn a lot there, their teaching styles were just all sooooo different. :D Anyways, it just so happened that I got pretty much a free ride my first yr. then some changes happened and I ended up having to get loans to pay full tuition the next yr. Debt crushes dreams.
I've done a couple internships, imagine what it takes to get your foot in the door, more than a couple internships and umpteen amounts of CONNECTIONS (the biggest overused word at my school). So, after I graduated, I had a couple internships under my belt and began the hunt for a job. Crazy what's happening to the music business with all the different sites out there I tried to figure out how bands actually make it. Really, I have no clue. The search for a job in this field seemed nearly impossible. That's okay God knew what He was doing. Not even 2 weeks after my last internship with a label I started getting sick and was diagnosed with Transverse Myelitis. Sickness and Disease crushes dreams.
CHEERS, here is to living. For some reason God brought me to where I am now. He is ever so gently drawing me away. He leads perfectly! A month ago I was out in CO and just felt the Lord tugging on my heart to go home. I was like Idk what Home is after moving 35+ times you kind of begin to wonder what home is supposed to feel like or where it even is. As soon as I got back home, it just felt right, like where I needed to be. So, the next step you may ask "what is it?" Well I remember lying in bed when I was younger looking out the window starring at the stars telling the Lord, " That I just want to sing. If that's all I ever do, I would be satisfied in that." Through sickness, fitn, his perfect leadership He has breathed life into me while I was fighting to survive. Even though I don't understand, I know He has a reason, His plans are bigger than mine, and for my good!
So, I'm decieding to step out on a limb of faith. I want to be a good steward of the gifts that my Father has given me. I don't want to bury my tallents! Please pray for me to have Courage in this next step, for Peace, FINANCES, Discernment, Doors to open, Grace, Healing..........ect as I say yes to the journey the Lord has me on in filling out an application to attend FMA. Thanks for all your love and support. I'm going to be connecting a paypal acct. to my blog if you feel lead to give for FMA (forerunner music accademy), medical bills, school loans, a trip to john hopkins for the accelerated cure project. Please designate. I envy your prayers above all!
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